All submissions to our anger management form - unedited, just pasted here, in order of date received:
Frustration Category: General Idiocy
I do support for a DAW. Having gone thru numerous phone calls over assorted fundamental operations the user calls me up to complain, and I mean complain, that their vocal is only on one side of the cans. I introduced them to the pan control.
Frustration category: Other
Intern keeps blowing up the bathroom
Frustration category: Bad Taste
For the love of god, and my own vomit reflex, please stop beaching into the microphone.
Frustration category: Communication Breakdown
Manager: (Artist) loved the spec mix! Lets move forward and quickly, I have a mastering date set for 3 weeks from now.
Me: //clears schedule, turns down gigs to make time for mix//
....radio silence....
Me (calls manager)
Manager: Oh, (artist) decided to go with someone local to mix instead so they could attend. Sorry, I thought I told you, but she did love the spec mix that you did! smh...
Frustration category: General Idiocy
Artist says the walkout didn’t sound very good after insisting we listen with the monitors all the way up all day. So I tell them to check the raw tracks we cut and see if there is a problem with those. They pause, not knowing what I’m talking about, and reiterate. Yeah but I can’t show anyone the mix. I tell them it’s not a mix. They don’t get it. They’re mad at how much money they spent and they think the walkout is the end result. Mind you this is a self proclaimed “producer” I’m having this conversation with. No idea if the edit, mix, or mastering process.
Frustration category: Bad Taste
"What's it like being a Woman in audio?"
Frustration category: Other
Client didn’t realize that they had to pay the time of the session. Didn’t have cash and couldn’t figure out how to use PayPal.
Frustration category: General Idiocy
Nah, I don't need to buy it...the mp3 of the beat is good enough...can you take the watermark out, tho???
Frustration category: Bad Taste
(...after a trained drummer made chord progression suggestion, the singer said...)
"Isn't it great when drummers are musicians, too?"
(...that's an actual quote)
Frustration category: General Idiocy
Huh? No, I don't know what key my song is in... I just play this chord, then this one...
Frustration Category: Unrealistic Expectations
I know I can't tune my drums or play to a click...but you can make me sound like Bonham, right?
Frustration Category: Unrealistic Expectations
Yes, analog hardware sounds better. Yes, it takes real time to capture a mix through a console. No, I can't bend time.
Frustration category: Communication Breakdown
I leave for 30 minutes of a 4 hr, low paid gig where I've been explicitly told not to mix ANYTHING and the old person band with 2 keytars on stage is feeding back. The man behind the makie 16in mixer on stage, who is in control of EVERYTHING expect monitor eq has pumped the volume on his console.
It's hitting a compressor that I forgot to remove on the iPad x32 system. At a lower input volume they hadn't been hitting it that hard. Now they are smashing into it like an unstoppable Force. There's intermittent feedback. They only want me to touch monitor eq. The keytar player understands it's a compression issue. The singer leaves stage to tell me that there is an effect on her voice.
All the while I've realized the error and am slowly taking down the threashhold. Getting closer to normal. Nudge by nudge - i give the older guy playing an accordion laid out like a keyboard time to realize things sound different and adjust his mix.
His gain is still too high on the inputs, but I've balanced it out on the faders. I fear I will have to constantly stare at a monitor eq while listening to feedback until my eyes bleed past the witching hour and the hairs of my cochlea go grey.
Frustration Category: Deadlines
This client took way too long to upload the files and now blames me for blowing the deadline... there was technically NEGATIVE time to finish it!
Frustration Category: Communication Breakdown
The artist wanted me to read their mind and make a 45rpm instead of a 33rpm vinyl master!
Frustration Category: General Idiocy
Receiving 4416 waves for mixing or mastering cause just why?? It's almost 2019, a TB hard drive costs like a nickel. The world won't end if you record at 4824 or god forbid, 9624.
Frustration Category: Deadlines
Having 30 minutes to upload and QC an hour long record.
Frustration Category: Bad Taste
The funder of the project loves Jimmy Bufftett and now I need to play Jimmy Buffett to make him happy.